Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
