She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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