her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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