dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
