we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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