You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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