To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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