i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
