yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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