Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
