dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
