I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize