No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
