wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How's work?
Spinning.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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