i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
