How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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