my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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