You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
