Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Shame - the story of my life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
