Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
