I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize