i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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