I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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