You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
