I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
