Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
