Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish you could order shots online.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need water and some morals
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
