you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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