If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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