google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
