just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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