JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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