Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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