I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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