after a month anything with tits is on the radar
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
