Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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