her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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