so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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