he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
