you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The air taste purple.
Randomize
