is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
