If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Randomize
