I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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