You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so let's talk penis.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
