did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
