I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
