she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
