if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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