U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
