At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
