it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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