PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
