is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
