would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
