i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
