I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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