I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ketchup is God's man juice
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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