I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
