dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize