Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
