Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
