ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how can u be prego again
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
